The gold words on the tiny plaque glistened up at me.
“Live your dreams
with eyes wide open.”
I was sitting on a bench in the middle of the forest, helping Finn catch pokemon, while Oliver played in the river. I’d been crying. I had a fun filled weekend with the Kindreds who I love so dearly…but was feeling an intense introversion I could not shake. I’m heading into a new season of trying to listen to who I am, alone. I need to to create space outside of Flora Forager, and to be able to be present with family. It’s hard to make changes and take flight, but that’s what I need to do in order to be healthy and “live my dreams, eyes wide open.” I’ve decided to take a break from the writing group and Kindred Magazine.
I asked the boys to come up with spirit names for the summer. Oliver came up with Magmatron. Then he picked Oakwood for a middle name. Finn smiled really big when I told him I thought he should be Eagle or Glacier, but decided he didn’t want a name. When I asked the boys what my name was they both said it should be a flower. Then Oliver said, “Poppy!” and Finn agreed.
Poppies remind me a little of butterflies with their three stages of beauty. The fuzzy bud, the frothy flower, and the silver seed pod. I felt like perhaps it was a sign for me to allow myself change. I put one of my coral poppies behind my ear and imagined what my future life would look like for me to live as a poppy. I feel like the seeds inside the dying pod are about to take flight and find somewhere new to grow and bloom. I am silvery and a bit sorrowful, but though it may take a season, bright petals will come.