Boys and Girl

Finn just finished reading the Spiderwick Chronicles and we’re about to watch the movie.  We got popcorn and chocolates and we’ve been squealing with excitement. He and I have been watching Smallville every night, went to the Starwars movie together just the two of us, and love talking about super hero trivia.

I never thought it would be this way.

When I first found out I was having a boy I freaked out a little.  On the drive home from the ultrasound we stopped at a stop light.  The tears were beginning to spill down my face. I said, “I always thought I’d be watching Disney Princess movies with my girls.” Beau laughed. “Don’t worry…they all have a prince.”

But what I didn’t know was my own capacity for loving boyish things. As it turns out, there’s just as much Peter Pan in me as there is Tink. I love ninjas and cars races and blasters and invincible heroes. My parents  pretty much raised us as tomboys, and while I resented not wearing tutus and tiaras and struggling through a soccer field, I really loved exploring the wild, fishing, hiking, skiing, Indiana Jones, and Alien. I love action sequences, and thrill at sci fi, when Lucy and I played Star Wars she was princess Leia and I was a female version of Han Solo.

My boys have loved every bit of the girly things I hoped for.  Maybe we’re not painting nails and doing hair, but they love glitter and the Tinkerbell movies, and dancing, and cooking, and crafting.  They snuggle and giggle and tell me I’m a princess. And though they moan and groan when Clark Kent kisses the girl, I know they secretly love it.

Gender is a spectrum, I know, but I still have a bag full of french baby girl clothes, toddler ruby slippers, and the flower girl outfit Talia wore in my wedding saved for…someday.  It’s hard to give up on the dreams I had of putting lipstick on my very own daughter. My heart still aches a little.

But Princess movies all have a prince, and hero movies all have a girl.

My boys and I? We’re perfect for each other. Screen Shot 2015-12-30 at 2.11.21 PM

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