A few months ago I made a life changing realization. I was reading The Artist’s Way and thinking about how I block myself from the life I truly desire. I was afraid of intimacy with new friends because I felt like I couldn’t contribute enough. I was afraid of artistic endeavors because I felt like a hack. I was afraid of enjoying myself because it felt selfish. POPPYCOCK! STUFF AND NONSENSE! Living in this diseased thought process my life was becoming lonely, stifled, and uncomfortable.
I decided to be bold and become friends with those I once secretly admired. To start calling myself by my true titles: creator, writer, artist… And to let myself indulge, even in the simple pleasures…an hour out by myself just to recollect? Novelty!
One of the mantras of The Artist’s Way is:
Great Creator, I’ll take care of the quantity, you take care of the quality.
The other night I needed to get out of the house. Four months ago if I’d needed to get out I’d have shoved that feeling inside myself, feeling guilty and depressed for having it. But this time I texted one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met to see if she’d want to come with me. We spent the next couple of hours working in an Irish pub together on our books, whispering excitements of a new draft or phrase, and delighting in the spontaneity of our delicious new friendship.
And as the Creator would have it, the beauty of all this boldness culminated in my dreams coming true.
In the summer I decided that I wanted to create a place where my friends and I could be ourselves and share what we are creating. So I started Creative Lounge with the hope that there might be others who needed this form of outlet and inspiration.
I spent last night seeing and listening to 20 friends’ poetry, live music, snippets of books, gorgeous art, and fantastic magical tales…in my living room.
At one point an artist was sketching the portrait of a lyricist playing her guitar, I was eating the onion marmalade a poet had brought, and I looked at all the cheery, talented faces around me and I thought, “This is how my life is meant to be lived.”