For the last week I’ve been nursing a tooth ache. It stems from my recent fillings, resulting in a dull ache in my ear, eye, head, and neck, and the occasional shooting pain when I chew. On top of this, I got into a little car accident on Saturday, Beau left for a week on Sunday, and Finn has no school this week. But as providence would have it, we had already scheduled to have Beau’s parents take Finn and Oliver for four days to give me a break. I had no idea how very needed that break would be!
When I allow myself to relax, which is somewhat never, I get an achy cry-ish feeling. Like the blood rushing into the brain causing a de-stress headache, the realization of just how much I allow myself to GO without any respite makes me weepy.
One of the first things I did was listen to Meryl Streep read me The Velveteen Rabbit. I cried. The way she reads about fairy houses in blackberry bushes and love making toys REAL. It was a smooth, calming balm to my spirit.
Before Beau left he said, “I just want to help you stop worrying about all these little things. Because they don’t matter.” The way Beau loves me and cares for me, that makes me more real.
Last night I watched another Miss Marple. The artistic direction and cinematography of that show! I could watch it just for that, but the plot and characters are charming and darling too! It oozes beauty.
I’m realizing that in life I don’t need largess or muchness to soothe me. I need beauty and quaint. A sunrise through the trees, discovering the names of creeks and the songs of birds, a friend who gives without anything in return. I am rich and bountiful in these types of things.
Anne: “Look at that sunset, Diana. You couldn’t enjoy its beauty any more if you had ropes of diamonds.”
Diana: “I don’t know about that.”
Today I’m relishing in some sweet alone time with my cheeky robin. Lots of big slobbery smooches and giggly tickles and squaks for more short bread. He’s at an age of discovery so he’s mostly self reliant (until something crashes or he bumps his head). It’s reminding me of those first three and a half years with Finn. Our tiny house was my oyster and my only sweet baby was my pearl.
Anne: “I’m content with my string of pearls.”
*first two images from Miss Marple.