It became very apparent to me recently that I have no place that is entirely my own. I have a desk in the living room, but it has never had a chair. I use the kitchen for painting and cooking, but it’s a galley kitchen so I am frequently clung to and whizzed past and bumped. The more I realized this the more claustrophobic I felt. I have a desire to create, but I don’t allow myself the necessary down time to fill the well and replenish.
I went to a movie all by myself for the first time a couple months ago and I realized, I haven’t done anything alone since I had Finn. And barely anything since I got married! I used to spend hours on end by myself in the woods. At the time I never thought I would miss the solitude, but some days I wish I could just go climb a tree and imagine I’m a fairy. So I set out to find a chair for my desk and somehow create a spot in my room.
I have always had, in the back of my mind, a little chair I saw several years ago in an antique mall. It had what I could only remember as a pineapple carved into it. It was small and seemed just the right size for my tiny desk. I looked in several places and couldn’t find anything just right. So I finally went to that same antique mall I’d seen the chair. It was still there! And it had been newly covered with the softest, green colored velvet that felt like a layer of moss. And it was only $40. I brought it home and showed Beau and we couldn’t decide what the carving was. A thistle? An acorn?
The other day while out with Joey I’d picked up an acorn, and then thinking of it later I’d come up with something clever for my book. So I looked up what acorns symbolize and the oak means strength, and they are commonly struck by lightening so they also symbolize light (light and power creating lightening has been a theme in the book I’m reading) and they symbolize spiritual growth. But my favorite is that they symbolize abundant gifts because of the acorns they give. I want to be all of those things! Gifted, strong, growing, and enlightened. So I think it’s an acorn!
The mantra I am supposed to say this week is “Treating myself like a precious object will make me strong.” how fitting for an acorn that will turn into a tree!
And then tonight, as if all this wasn’t enough icing on a delicious cake…here’s the cherry on top:
Come on. You cannot deny the synchronicity. It is shouting in your face.
The first picture in this post is of the little space I’m creating next to my side of the bed in our room. And this pic is of the curtains, twinkly lights, and lanterns I finally hung above the bed! I’ve been wanting to do that for forever.
Hey. Did you know Bridget means Strength? I could say, Treating myself like a precious object will make me more me. And I think it will.