Lately I’ve been on survival mode. Nothing truly tragic…just head-tick inducing. The last month has been several tiny nightmares rolled into one. I feel like I’m going to snap at any moment. It’s too embarrassing to talk about here..but certain things have been making my world feel less than beautiful!
But the crazy thing is that on top of it all I can honestly say I’m having one of the best Decembers I’ve ever had. Amidst the hard exterior of my present state, I’ve been filled with so much joy and treasure my heart feels like it will burst. Like sparkling gems inside a geode.
I was thinking of Mary this morning and how entirely defeating it must have been to give birth in a barn and put a newborn where filthy animals eat. And then just imagine what it must have been like to have Angels and kings and a beautiful star come to you in your pestilence to celebrate your baby. I feel glimpses of that all the time when I feel like I just can’t handle another thing. Jesus is such paradoxal hope.
My life is wonderful! But it is not without frustration and loss, and I think that’s how it should be. If everything was perfect all the time I would lose touch with what is truly valuable. It was not a palace or a royal bloodline or a powerful kingdom that mattered…it was Jesus himself.
I like that he came with winged singing creatures, foreign astronomers, and a sparkling star. He’s a little bit quirky and enchanting. Today’s dross is showing me the magic that I normally take for granted. Life right now is not some ugly, dull rock. It is treasure.
The geode at the top of this post is one that Juliana and I found together in a river in Indiana. I got to crack it open! Aaaand…Just because it is imperative for my psyche to compare everything to Snow White….Here’s me grumpily trying to find treasure out of rocks:2 Corinthians 4:7 “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.