Completely overwhelmed.

Today I found out just how intense Oliver’s surgery is going to be.  The last one was about 10 minutes long and he was awake for the whole thing.  So I expected that.  This one will be about 2 hours and he’ll be put under.  He’ll be in the hospital overnight.  It’s not as bad as say…surgery on an organ, or a tumor, or..well..many things.  But it was enough to make me cry in the elevator and on the car ride home and now making me unable to do normal tasks like making a grilled cheese sandwich without burning it…and then crying about the burned sandwich…and then realizing I’m really crying because I’m nervous and scared about Oliver and then crying some more.

For some reason I’m not nervous about how they’ll be cutting into his ankle and moving around his tendons and bones.  I’m worried he won’t wake up.  I have to stop thinking about it or my heart begins to race and I start crying again.  Aaaa!  Add pregnancy hormones to that and you have a complete mess.  The surgery isn’t scheduled yet, but it will be in the next couple weeks.  I’m hoping for before Thanksgiving.  If this thing has to happen anywhere near any stressful holiday type events I will have a nervous breakdown. 

After the surgery it’ll be 3 long months of Oliver in a full leg cast.  But right now he has it off.  I wish I could say that was a happy thing, but it’s actually quite sad for the moment.  He can’t walk yet.  His leg is now too weak and his foot is all bruised because the last cast didn’t have enough padding.  So he’s been crawling.  Interpreted as lying on the floor squirming saying “owwww” or trying to walk like a little foal until he falls over out of balance.  It’s kinda cute and funny…but also not.

But I AM excited to give him a nice loooong soak in the bath! And to put some lotion on that dry, scaly, stinky bruised foot.  I’d take a picture and show you but it would probably make you queasy.

In the end it’s going to be perfect.  I cannot wait!

6 thoughts on “Completely overwhelmed.

  1. You’re so brave Bridget. I’ve always thought so about you. I will be praying for you all and especially for you to have courage and peace before hand. Hugs.

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